Buzzards

A couple of weeks ago I opened my local weekly paper and found this little cartoon. I can really relate to the cartoon, being such a slow runner. I'm pretty sure there were a couple of buzzards circling above me somewhere around mile 18 when I was completing the Las Vegas Marathon. Not only is it a really funny cartoon, but the artist happens to be my neighbor and I pass him frequently while I'm running and he's walking his dog. Leigh is a heck of a nice guy and a bit of a celebrity in our small town, being a published cartoonist and all. Stop by his website and check out his stuff- http://www.rubescartoons.com/


Rubes Cartoon copyright 2010
by Leigh Rubin. Used with permission

Cashier Hell

I managed a pretty decent 6.2 miler Sunday; it was the first run in 3 weeks that actually felt good. My pace is still really slow but I can live with that.

I finished my last day in cashier hell today. Tomorrow I return to my boring little cubicle cluttered with contracts and post it notes and phone messages. I'm really, REALLY looking forward to being retired again, mostly because I can run when I darn well feel like running again instead of being at the mercy of my work schedule.

The Bull Canyon 10k is approaching soon and it's kind of a big deal around here; I just talked to a coworker who will be running it this year, her first race. She's not someone I normally talk to much, but we spent about an hour talking about the course and the killer hill that starts around mile 3 and goes on forever. She's a novice runner but should do well; she ran 6 miles this weekend and told me she actually felt like she could have gone farther. Today as I was leaving work I stopped by her desk and we were talking about the best time to run-we both agreed that running after work sucks and running first thing in the morning is the best. Another employee was listening to our conversation and asked us how early we get up to run; we both get up around 4:00 so we can hit the road at sunrise. Our co-worker decided we were both crazy and no one should have to get up that early just so they can run. My new running friend and I just looked at each other knowingly-we told him we didn't expect him to understand; it's a running thing...

My Real Life Dwight

Well, Funderson, since you asked, I suppose enough years have passed since this incident occurred that I can safely tell you as well as all my other faithful readers about my worst Dwight episode at work without fear of a lawsuit or repurcussions from former co-workers...

My Dwight looked nothing like the TV Dwight but mine was just as weird as the TV version. He was a car salesman and not a very good one; I think his customers were creeped out by his demeanor as much as his co-workers were. He called himself a survivalist and apparently in his mind this meant that he would survive the end of civilization while presumably the rest of us poor schmucks would die lingering, horrible deaths due to starvation, radiation poisoning, or zombie attacks.

Dwight had a girlfriend and his girlfried had a young son; most mornings the girlfriend would drop Dwight off at work and then take the little boy to school. On the morning of the "Dwight incident", Dwight got out of the car and was talking to his lady friend before she left the dealership. The woman didn't realize that her son had decided to get out of the car (I'm thinking he probably wanted to switch to the front seat). The kid was halfway out of the car when Mom started to back out of the parking spot. Somehow the boy got caught by the back door swinging shut and it slammed pretty hard on his arm.

So now, the unfortunate child is screaming in pain, Mom is in a panic, and several dealership employees are trying to figure out what happened and what they should do. This is where Dwight steps in. He yelled at the little boy to stop crying, grabbed his injured arm and started to examine it, manipulating it back and forth and asking the boy "does it hurt more now, or when I do this?". Mom is watching, kind of confused, and Dwight turns to her and says "I don't think we need to take him to the hospital. I think It's broken, but I can set a broken bone. He'll be fine". Several employees heard what he said and realized what Dwight intended to do. The service manager told the mother that she needed to take the boy to the emergency department and have a doctor check the boy; I think the mother realized that yes, of course that was what she should do. An employee drove her to the hospital and the day returned to sort of normal. Dwight later told us that setting broken bones was one of the skills he needed to be a good survivalist. I asked him if he had ever set a broken bone before, and he said that while he had never actually done it, he had read lots of books about how it was done and he would have done exactly what a doctor would have done for a lot less money.

So there you have it-my real life Dwight was willing to set a child's broken arm. Dwight was fired shortly after this incident; luckily for the dealership we had a little rule that if you were a car salesman and you didn't sell any cars you couldn't keep you job. I never saw him again and I'm glad for that. And the little boy's arm was not broken as Dwight thought, but it was very badly sprained and bruised. I guess Dwight needed to work on his diagnostic skills.

The Office

I've managed some pretty decent short runs outdoors this week; I've been going to work around 9:00 am and thus I can run in the morning which I prefer to evening runs. My boss is on vacation so there's no one at work to complain about my late appearances. Since I'm a short timer it doesn't matter anyway. I've been working at the cashier's counter these last 2 weeks and I really do hate cashiering-but only a couple of more weeks and I'll be free once again!

I've been a fan of The Office since the first season. The show used to make me want to cry a little because I could so easily relate to every character-I've worked with every one of those people at different periods in my career, including Dwight. While Dwight is really funny to watch on the show, he's creepy and scary to work with in real life. I could tell you about one incident with my real life Dwight but I'm afraid you might not believe me.

The office I work in now is not so much like the TV version; my co-workers are a pretty quiet, average group of hard working, capable women. My former work place, however, was the one that was almost exactly like the show. My former boss was a female Micheal Scott. She never did any actual work except at the end of the month when we were closing our books; then she put in a couple of days of actual, real work. One day, she came to work with a rubberband gun. She started pretending she was a Charlie's Angel (she said she was the Farrah Fawcett angel..)and she ran around the office, hiding behind cubicle walls, and popping out to shoot rubber bands at us. This was while I was buried up to my neck with paperwork for a fleet sale the dealership was doing that involved the sale of 200 cars to a rental company.

I was so angry and frustrated with her behavior and yet I knew there was nothing I could do short of finding another job-my boss, the Charlie's Angel wannabe, was the owner's daughter. This meant that there was no one we could complain to about her ridiculous behavior. The Charlie's Angel phase was only one incident amongst many-seriously, I could be a writer for The Office, and all my episodes would be drawn from experience.

And Now, the Local News...

Open letter to the morning newscaster lady:

Dear Newscaster lady,

This morning on the 5:00 am local news, you reported that a man was rescued from our local marina by the Coast Guard, and you said that he was recuperating at a local hospital after being treated for hypothermia due to exposure. You said that the cause of the accident was unknown, and that he fell out of his dingy. Please note that when the word "dingy" is used in this context, it is pronounced "ding-ee", as in a small boat powered by oars; you do not pronounce it "din-gee" as in grimy or dirty as you did this morning. You sounded silly and even the a.m. DJ on the radio station I listen to on my way to work was making fun of you.

Ted Baxter would have been very proud of you.

I Quit

I gave notice last week-I will work through March, then I'm done. I don't enjoy it and I would quit sooner but my boss would like me to cover the cashier counter while the cashier is on vacation and I agreed. Funny thing is cashiering is my least favorite job in the office. Customers, as a rule, are never happy when they have to pay a bill for service on their car and since I'll be the last person they see as they leave the dealership I'll be the one that they will voice their displeasure to. And this will definitely wreak havoc on my running schedule since I'll have to be the first person there and the last person to leave. The only thing that will save me, running-wise, is there should still be enough daylight to squeeze in a run after work if I manage to hit the road as soon as I get home.

I finally got in a slow 5 miler today. The hips and legs felt better but I'm ridiculously slow-no, really, I'm slower than that. I've decided to accept my slowness and just focus on building up the miles; I wanted this to be the year that I saw some decent times at a few races but there's always next year...

Missing my Mojo

I'm trying to get back into running in a serious way and I'm somehow missing the mark. I've been forced to run almost exclusively on the deadmill because of the rain and the fact that I'm pretty much working full time again; and just when I was ready to tell my boss I'm done working and she doesn't really need me, she asked me to work through March to cover for a girl going on vacation and to help cover her vacation. So of course, I said yes. I just can't say no to the money. I don't need it; Hubby and I are pretty secure financially, but I just can't say no to an opportunity like this. But I am DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY quitting at the end of March, not matter what she offers me.

I've only managed a couple of outdoor runs this week and they were sucky in the extreme. The best I've done is 4 miles. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing I have a 1ok in May. My last deadmill run totally sucked; the only thing that kept me on the mill was to play with the pace-every time I wanted to call it quits, I bumped up the speed-as in, "Take that, legs-that will teach you to try and quit on me!".

So-I'm going to try and sneak out of work early tomorrow, and if it's not raining I'm going to try a 5 miler, slow and easy. I'm just going to consider this time as a little speedbump in my running life, a minor blip that I will overcome as soon as I quit work and can once again run any time the mood and the weather suits me.