Politicians, and why I don't like any of them

I ran a very easy 6 miles today, slow because it was hot and I didn't get my lazy butt out the door early enough to take advantage of the cool morning. You'd think I would know by now, I only make it harder on myself when I start late.

I am going to discuss a particular aspect of American Politics today; you are forwarned, faithful readers. This, however, will not be a rant, and it will not be partisan. I'm of a certain age that has allowed me to experience lots of election years and lots of politicians. They all, to a man (and now to a woman), have a nasty habit of believing that if I can relate to them on some elemental level, then I will vote for them. So they go to the local diner and eat the cuisine du jour, they bowl, shoot, swill beer out of the bottle, dandle some random baby on their knee, and generally engage in all sorts of activities that they are obviously uncomfortable with, all in the hope that it will make me, the voter, cast my vote in their favor. So I want to tell them all, every one, liberal or conservative, to just stop it. it doesn't work.

The problem is I'm not that stupid. I know that the typical politician lives a life that has no relationship whatsoever to my life. I see them stepping off a private jet with no carry on baggage, looking as fresh as if they just stepped out of a spa in Tahiti; they then ensconce themselves in the ample leathery comfort of a limousine and are whisked away to that diner where they eat a hot dog just like regular folks.

So, Mr Politician, you want me to relate to you? Well, let's see if I can conjure up the following fantasies:

Try to imagine either of the front runners in our current race for the White House mowing his own lawn. How about envisioning him in the garage with a few of his buddies (since this is a fantasy, just pop in your favorite Washington politicos here) changing out the starter on a 67 Camaro. Or how about picturing either candidate installing a new toilet in their Mcmansion? Let's look at their wives, shall we? How about trying to imagine either wife with her rubber gloved hand elbow deep in the above mentioned toilet, trying to scrub out a hard water stain? My point is that the lives politicians lead and my life are completely different. And it doesn't matter anyway, since that's not how I vote. I vote base on ISSUES.

So, to the politicans currently running for office, I have one piece of advice to offer. If you are encouraged by your advisors to partake in any activity that you are uncomfortable with, that you have never done in your life, that you really don't want to do, just say so. Just admit that you don't bowl/shoot baskets/play bingo, whatever the activity is, and you will get points from me for honesty. It doesn't mean I'll vote for you. I'm still voting based on issues.