Less than a week to go to the half mary. I did 4 miles this morning; the weather was very nice for a run and the forecast indicates cool and comfortable for race day. I don't know why I'm so nervous about the race. I think I'm prepared physically, at least if I'm not there's not much I can do about that now. So I decided to do the same thing I used to do at work when I was nervous about some big project I had to complete-fantasize about the absolute worst, most disastrous thing that could possibly happen and carry it as far out as possible. So here is my race day disaster scenario:
I arrive late for the race, and barely get my bib pinned on before the gun goes off. At about this point my shoes decide they've had enough and they reach critical mass, mileage wise and my legs start to ache at the 1 mile marker. I start doing a run/walk thing. My legs are still hurting and now my lungs and heart give out. I keep walking. 7 hours later, I make it to the finish line on my hands and knees. The few people left at the finish line are laughing and pointing at me. Hubby left hours ago in disgust and now I have to walk home.
I get a phone call that night from the secret running police. They tell me that my performance was so horrific that I've been permanently banned for life from running and racing. My name has been put on the "do not run" list. When I try to buy a new pair of shoes, my friendly neighborhood running store tells me they aren't allowed to sell me anything. I have to sneak into Cuba to buy running shoes.
I go out for a run on my usual course, and men with little wires in their ears tackle me and force me off the road. They tell me that if I try to run again, I'll be sent to a secret camp in Wyoming where they incarcerate offensive runners, as well as people who think they can sing but really can't.
Ok, I feel much better now.